Judy Templeton Ministries

Hope is that delicate life line that ties us to this world…

Judy Templeton

Holy Spirit 2

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Holy Spirit 2 – A Way in the Wilderness 

14 “Therefore, behold, I will allure her,
Will bring her into the wilderness,
And speak comfort to her.

15 I will give her her vineyards from there,
And the Valley of Achor as a door of hope;
She shall sing there,
As in the days of her youth,
As in the day when she came up from the land of Egypt.

16 “And it shall be, in that day,”
Says the Lord,
“That you will call Me ‘My Husband,’
And no longer call Me ‘My Master,’

Hosea 2:14-16 NKJV

Has the Holy Ghost ever given you a Scripture, that in your spirit you knew was a “life scripture,” but at the time, you had absolutely no idea what He was saying?

I was saved not even a year when I clearly “saw” this address in a dream: “Hosea 2:14-16”. When I woke up, I wrote it down, but Hosea? At the time, I was so new in the Lord that I didn’t even know it was Scripture.  Ironically, I took it to my pastor’s wife who had become a close friend, and of course she immediately recognized it. So together we looked it up, talked about it, and tried to discern the Lord’s meaning in it for me. But, even after all that, I still had no understanding of what the Lord was trying to speak into my life.

It was about the same time I received this Scripture that we were forced to close our business. We were suddenly destitute—honestly, we couldn’t believe we had arrived at such a place.  We’d always had enough and we’d always known exactly where we were going. But now, we had no prospects or direction, and no idea what to do next.

Faced with this sudden lack of income and provision, I continued to pour over that Scripture in Hosea and I began to see verse 15 in a whole new light — “I will give her her vineyards...” Wait! That was the encouragement I was looking for! Things were going to turn around for us! Praise God!

But they didn’t turn around. Things got worse. Much worse.

And I kept coming back to that very first line, “Therefore, behold, I will allure her, I will bring her into the wilderness, and speak comfort to her.” What could that possibly mean—a wilderness?

But my questions were answered, when six months later, there was a knock on our door and I opened it to find our house surrounded by DEA agents—with guns. That day ended with our arrest and the end of life as we knew it.

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.—Romans 8:28 NKJV

The “wilderness” that had begun the year before my arrest, continued on through that season in prison and, surprisingly, even a few years after I was released. That wilderness experience—the one that the Lord had spoken to me through Hosea— for me, turned out to be a priceless season in which the Lord became real. During the most difficult season of my life, He drew me into a place of intimacy and freedom that I had never experienced before or since.

You may ask, “How was it possible to feel so free in prison?” Jesus said He came to set the captives free, to release us from bondage and oppression. My life had become so busy, so consuming, that there never seemed to be enough time, energy, or focus for a relationship with Him.

But, all these years later, I finally have an understanding of this Scripture. The season spent in the wilderness had worked to conform me more into the likeness of GOD. The change in my attitude and spirit was borne out of necessity. I had needed His protection above all else. But a relationship that had begun out of necessity, became one of communion, intimacy and a deep understanding of the Father’s love. And that understanding drew me closer, kept me obedient, and held my heart. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for Him—first, out of my desperate need, but then as I walked more closely with Him, that fear and desperation vanished as I abandoned myself to His great Love.

Through all the seasons of my life, He has continued to walk with me, and my confidence and trust in His faithfulness now has deep roots.

And in this season, as more of His plan unfolds in my life, He is turning my valleys of trouble into doors of opportunity as my hope remains steadfast in Him.

May I say that I never dreamt my life would turn out this way. I am continually humbled by His love, His goodness and His faithfulness. I often find myself marveling at what God has done and continues to do in my life—And I’m reminded of Ephesians 3:20: “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us.”

All I can say is to that is “Yes and Amen.”

God was able to take all the bad choices and the broken pieces of my life and use them for His glory.

Hosea? Who would have thought.

 

Photo by Kristian Egelund on Unsplash

Holy Spirit 1

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Shining a Light—Holy Spirit Series

Lately, I’ve been aware of things moving, sensing things changing—in both the natural as well as the Spirit. And in the midst of all the motion, I’m feeling the Holy Spirit’s urging to shift gears here too—to move past those surface “Reflections” of my last blog series and look into the depths. And I believe that it’s as we change our perspective, linger in His presence, and experience His goodness that we will find that deeper connection with the Holy Spirit, and a greater understanding of Who He is to us.

As we start off in this new direction, I want to begin to highlight the Gifts of the Spirit—taking a closer look at how they work to bring comfort and encouragement. Today, I’d like to share how the Holy Spirit spoke into one of my darkest nights—at a time when I felt most unworthy to receive anything from God.

It had only been a few months since I had surrendered my life to Jesus, when my Pastor, Josie Matsuwaki, surprised me by showing up at our office to share a dream the Holy Spirit had given her. As a young Christian, I really didn’t know anything about how God spoke through dreams and visions, so I admit I was both curious and a little excited.

And, as she began share her dream, I realized that God had shown her the exact house my husband and I had lived in!  Not only that, but she described it with such perfect accuracy that she had even ‘seen’ the door between the living room and the garage locked with a deadbolt!

But as she continued to walk me through her dream, I felt a little prickle at the back of my neck and the beginnings of fear stir in my heart. The good news was that yes, I knew the house. And the bad news? The bad news was that I also knew what was behind the door with the deadbolt.

Now I just wanted it to stop. Unexpectedly, the fear gave way to a flare of anger—at God!  “How COULD You show her THAT? I thought You were a LOVING God!” It was all I could do to stay calm on the outside, while my insides turned to jello.

But by the time Josie had finished sharing and had gotten around to asking me if I knew what it meant, I had my breathing back under control, my anger under wraps and I was able to tell her (and I thought rather convincingly) that I hadn’t understood any of it.  After she left, I tried to make sense of what had happened, but I still couldn’t understand why God would show her that part of my past? I thought all my sins had been forgiven when I accepted Jesus—so why would God do that?

Then about two weeks later, Pastor Josie had a second dream. And of course, she wanted to share it. This time I was past being curious. With rising dread, all I could think was, “NOW what had God shown her about me?”

When she burst through the office door and greeted me with, “He showed me more of what was in the garage!”  My stomach clenched and my breath caught in my throat as she perfectly described the ‘furnishings’ in the garage. Once again, when she had finished sharing her dream, I told her that I hadn’t understood any of it—this time though, I knew that she knew I was lying. But she never brought it up again.

Then, about 6 months later, it was me who had a dream. And in my dream I also ‘saw’ a house. But this house had three stories and it wasn’t one I recognized.  And in my dream I ‘saw’ DEA agents and police flooding into the house and they all had guns. Pointed at us.

When I woke up, I thought to myself, “That can’t be true. We’ve been out of that “business” far too long.

And with that, I didn’t think any more about it. A few days later, I had the same dream. But once again, I dismissed it.

But here’s the rest of the story—

Nine months after my dream, those exact events played out in real life—in the exact house I’d seen—complete with DEA agents and police pouring into the house from every direction. With guns. And they had all been pointed at us.

As that ordeal was ending, another was just beginning. There was darkness pushing in on me from all directions as I found myself being processed into Honolulu’s city jail. While being taken to my assigned “room”, I was led past a TV screen showing the evening news. I glanced up just in time to see my face—MY face on the evening news. It turned out that our arrest had become a national headline. For me, that was the final straw—and with it the rest of my world came crashing down.

As I lay on the top bunk trying to give in to overwhelming exhaustion, I was hit instead with wave after wave of shame, fear, regret, and anger. And in the midst of it all, a deep sorrow overcame me. I didn’t want to chance seeing anyone walk by, so I rolled over with my face against the wall, and to my surprise found myself looking out a window. Heavy rain was pounding down on the road outside and in the driving rain the streets were empty. I saw no cars, no people, no signs of life—instead, I saw reflected back at me the darkness and despair I was feeling in my soul.

How did my life turn out like this?

As I continued to stare into that blackness, I heard the Holy Spirit ask, “Do you remember the dreams Pastor Josie shared?”

Yes, I did remember, how could I forget that glimpse into my past. But it seemed a lifetime ago. The Holy Spirit continued, “I didn’t give them to her to embarrass you, but I knew this day was coming and I wanted you to know that I would be with you every step of the way.”

Now the tears started to come. The tears I’d held off for so long. In the space of a heartbeat, I understood, I knew beyond any doubt, that God loved me and cared about me enough to foretell this day—even when I couldn’t understand. I knew and felt that I was not alone, and I no longer doubted His love for me. With His presence around me and love covering me, the emptiness in my soul was filled with the light of His truth. I knew with everything in me that I was loved.

As I continued to rest in His presence, He asked me if I remembered the dream He gave me. As I started to think about that dream, I suddenly realized this whole day had played out exactly as I had dreamt it months before—but how could that be?

At the time I didn’t understand what a Word of Knowledge or a Word of Wisdom were, but I do know that what the Holy Spirit revealed to me that night was literally life changing. Now I knew—I really knew in my heart—that God loved me, and that He knew me or, should l say, he knows me—every detail of my life—and yet still He called me His child.

John 16:13-14 says, “However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come. He will glorify Me, for He will take of what is Mine and declare it to you.”

I am so grateful to God and so grateful for His Holy Spirit. Maybe for the first time in my life I had a glimpse of how special each person is to God. I felt His love and compassion for me in spite of all my bad decisions. More than that, what God did for me that night—when He brought all the pieces together—was to show me that He had been there all along. And that He was there with me now. That He was for me, not against me. He didn’t just tell me that He loved me, He SHOWED me. In a way that gave me everything I needed to walk through one of the most difficult seasons of my life.

And I know He can do the same for you.

Reflections 7

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War and Peace—Reflection Series

As I was thinking about everything going on in the world today—with so much fear and a future filled with uncertainty—the Holy Spirit reminded me about a day in my own life when, overwhelmed by fear, I too, faced an uncertain future.

The day was January 9th, 1993.

Just the day before, life was looking rosy. I had been released from prison to stay with my parents while I got back on my feet. They lived in a small community at the base of Big Sur and my bedroom was nestled in the pines overlooking the Pacific Ocean. It was everything I thought I needed to feel safe and free. That first night I slept in a ‘real’ bed for the first time in what felt like forever.  And I slept peacefully and soundly.

But the new day dawned. And with it, my new life. As I stood in front of the bathroom mirror brushing my hair and getting ready for the day, I saw the reflection in front of me waver as I suddenly caught my breath and staggered under the weight of what felt like a thick tar suddenly overtaking me. That thick ooze reeked of fear, condemnation, guilt, hopelessness, unworthiness and oh—so much more. I felt paralyzed and consumed as I tried to process what was happening. For a full half a minute, I stood there frozen, struggling to catch my breath when the Holy Spirit stepped in and quickened me to take authority over what I was feeling and rebuke the enemy.

2 Corinthians 10:5 is a Scripture that speaks about how important it is to bring every thought into captivity. And I knew immediately when the Holy Spirit quickened me that I couldn’t dwell on what I had just felt or seen. Scripture also tells us that God has not given us a spirit of fear, and though there was some small bits of truth in that ooze, I knew if I had allowed myself to stay there any longer, I would have been in trouble.

In the 3rd Blog of this Reflection Series, I shared a time in my life when I had become so hopeless and overwhelmed that I didn’t want to go on. I had been swept up by those out-of-control emotions—swept right into the enemy’s hands.

But this time was very different!

This time, as a child of God, He had equipped me with all the tools I needed—the power of His word and the Holy Spirit, Who leads us into all truth. So, when I yielded to the Holy Spirit’s prompting and resisted those thoughts (taking them captive), I effectively slammed that door shut! And the flood of emotions was stopped. Praise God!  I knew that no part of what had happened was from God. It’s the devil who had come to kill, steal and destroy the plans and purposes God had for my life.

I knew there would be a day when the Holy Spirit would lead me though my healing, but during that time, He was teaching me how to use my authority—how to be an overcomer.

In the last few months, I have been made aware of ministers, church leaders, and believers who are all having difficulty withstanding the onslaught of the enemy. Yes, the warfare has been intense, but I also know that the Lord will bring us though as we stay focused on Him. Our victory is in Him!

You might be wondering if those feelings came back again during that season in my life. Yes, truthfully, they did. Not every day, but when they did, I couldn’t allow myself dwell on them. I had to be consistent and intentional and take them captive.

Over the past couple of years, as I started sharing my testimony, those are the very emotions that have tried to stop me from moving forward, and again, I have had to take them captive and determine to move forward as the Lord was leading me.

Fear is a powerful weapon the enemy uses against us to derail the plans God has for our lives. For me, the realization that I’ve lost my peace is my first clue that I am not walking in all that Jesus did for me!

Are YOU standing in what God has given you as His child? Is the enemy trying to take your focus off the Lord?

Take those thoughts captive and, as it says in James 4:7—“Resist the devil and he will FLEE!”

Praise God!

 

Photo by Marcus Woodbridge on Unsplash

Reflections 6

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Peace and Joy — Reflection Series

If you have read any of my previous blogs, you’ll know that most center around a season in my life spent in prison. And, lately, as I have been reflecting back on that season, I’m realizing that the Lord used that time to develop and deepen my relationship with Him. And, out of that deeper relationship, has come a confidence, a boldness, and an unwavering belief that the promises in His Word are true for my life.

Over this past month, I’ve heard many believers say that their lives have been shaken by fear and doubt, confusion and discouragement, and a consuming weariness that makes it difficult to keep their footing in God’s Word.

I was in much the same place on the day I walked through the prison gates. I was desperate for His help, but had little left in me to even ask for it.

So, I asked God for His protection. 

I didn’t know if I would get an answer, let alone hear His voice, and I certainly didn’t expect there would be conditions! But I did hear His answer, and what He told me was this: If I wanted His protection, I would need to follow all of the prison rules, I would need to be obedient, to work as unto Him, and to never ask Him how much longer. No, God wasn’t bargaining with me. He just knew better than I did what I was going to need to keep my focus on Him. In order for me to not only survive, but thrive in prison, God had to have my full attention.

From that very first day, I never felt fear, I was confident that He had me. But what I didn’t expect was the added benefit of the peace and joy I walked in every day. I found that no matter the chaos around me, the circumstances of my existence, or my lack of control over any of it—I was still able to rest in His peace. And interestingly enough, that place of rest in His peace and joy had always eluded me. But here, in prison, I was living it. Every day.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

This was one of the first Scriptures I learned as a new Christian. And throughout the intervening years, I struggled with walking that Scripture out. Sure, I understood what it said, but it never got from my head to my heart. They were just words on a page. But while I was in prison it came so easily. That Scripture came to life and became a part of me—a part of who I was, a part of my nature. But when I walked back out those prison gates and into the ‘real’ world, it didn’t take me long to get right back to worrying, stressing, and continually looking for the peace and joy that once again eluded me.

How did that happen?

I had to ask myself a lot of questions as I looked back on that time in my life. Here are some of my take a ways:

Why was it so easy there? Was it because in prison I realized that it was only God who could keep me safe? Did I think it was time for me to handle my life again when I walked out those gates?

Or, did I let the chaos of life get in the way of the truth?

And why, if I knew what it was like to live in peace and joy, would I ever choose to go back into that bondage? Was I choosing not to trust in the Lord? Was I allowing myself to believe the lie and think that it was only possible to stand on His Word when things were bright and rosy?

The understanding for me came when I realized that while I was in prison, I walked in communion and intimacy with Him every day. And I couldn’t wait for evening when I could spend quiet time with Him. The truth is, that when I got out, other things started taking priority. Life got in the way.

I can honestly say that over the last 7 years I have made the choice to address everything that has tried to steal my peace and joy, and to once again regain that intimacy with the Father and His Son.  Daily I ask the Holy Spirit to reveal what I need to do, and what I need to take authority over. And He has been faithful to lead me into His truth.

But first, I had to make a choice. I had to choose to focus on my Father and not on the chaos around me.

I want to leave you with this Scripture:   

“Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”  John 14:27

That Word says don’t let your heart be troubled or afraid. Jesus said He gives you His Peace. So, grab hold of that today. 

That peace belongs to you, and He’s inviting you to walk in it.

Are there areas in your life where you need the Holy Spirit’s help? Remember, He’s there to do just that. He lives inside you.

Let’s not allow what’s going on around us to steal what Jesus has already provided for us.

Amen?

 

 

 

 

Reflections 5

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Forgiving Oneself — Reflection Series

In my last blog, I mentioned that I had finally been able to forgive myself. One of my readers reached out and asked if I could expand on it in my next blog.  May I say upfront, in all honesty, that it’s still something I wrestle with. And because I don’t think I’m alone in that struggle, I want to talk about recognizing the need to forgive ourselves, and what it might look like to walk out that process.

About a year after I was released from prison, my father said this to me, “I don’t care what you did in the past, or who you used to be. What matters to me is who you are today.” Over time, I was able to see in his eyes how much he loved me, and understand how he honored me as a person. I was his daughter, but I also knew that he sincerely loved and respected me. Unconditionally.

And knowing my father loved me became the lifeline I reached for whenever I beat myself up (again) for the choices I had made –or for the consequences of those choices. It was one thing that I had to deal with them, but there were others caught up in the ripple effect of my actions.  Even though I have always believed that I am accountable and responsible for my choices—and even though I “did my time”—how do I forgive myself for all of the devastation that my ‘storm’ caused?

That’s the question I wrestle with over and over again.

How many messages have I preached about forgiveness over the years? More than I can remember. But during this season, as I have begun sharing the story of my time in prison, I find myself struggling with the concept of forgiving myself once more. Or actually, more truthfully, I’m not sure that I’ve ever been completely free from it.

Lately, it’s something that comes up everywhere I turn, but now I am able to see so clearly that it’s been the enemy all along who wants to use it to hold me in bondage.  I know that tearing down this stronghold was not something I could do under my own strength, so I turned to the Holy Spirit for help and guidance. I needed Him to show me the way.

And the Holy Spirit is always so faithful. The first thing he did was to ask me what I was feeling—I told Him, “Shame and regret.”  I thought that maybe it’s because I don’t want people to think that is who I am, but then again, I made the choice knowing it was wrong. And what about all the lives that were damaged by what I did? That can never be undone. When I asked the Holy Spirit, “How do I forgive myself for that?” He reminded me that forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing the offense. It means seeing yourself as God sees you. Forgiven.

So, remembering my father’s statement all those years ago, I chose to walk forward and allow the Word to do it’s work in me. I had to take every thought captive that was contrary to who God said that I am. Every time shame, guilt, or embarrassment would wash over me, I had to see it for what it was—fear of man, or even pride. I wanted to look good before man, but every time the Holy Spirit revealed what it for what it really was, I would repent, because in my heart, I only wanted to please God, not man.

Looking back, it’s funny that growing up, I desperately wanted my natural father to be proud of who I was. I wanted to hear him say, “That’s my daughter!”, and know that he was proud of me. But how much more do I want my Heavenly Father to be pleased with me?

It’s clear to me now, that by not forgiving myself, I would always be in bondage. But Jesus paid the ultimate price for my freedom. John 8:36 NIV says “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. One of the first steps to my freedom was to forgive myself and then to walk in that forgiveness.

The bottom line is that it was a choice—my choice.

What will you choose?

Reflections 4

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Freedom and Forgiveness — Reflection Series

A friend of mine asked me an interesting question this week.  I look forward to our conversations because she always pushes me to think outside the box. This day her question was, “Over the past several years, what area in your life has had the biggest change or the most growth?”

To my surprise, I replied without any hesitation, “Freedom!”

The minute it left my mouth, I knew it was true. You know that feeling you get in your spirit when something speaks to your heart? Yep. That’s the one.

But even though I knew it was true, I really didn’t understand the ‘why’ part. So, I asked God, “Why freedom?” and He took me back to when He first asked me to write a book—to the time I had been explaining to Him how difficult it was for me to put words on paper or speak into a recorder—to the time the Holy Spirit suggested that instead of doing either of those things, that I preach each chapter from the pulpit.

What a great idea! So that’s exactly what I did!

The chapters that formed the basis for those messages came from the book I’m writing called, “The Power of God in the Midst of Your Storm.”  It chronicles the season in my life that I spent in prison and it details how I saw the power of the Holy Spirit move daily with healings, salvations, baptisms in the Holy Spirit, and finally the miracle of water baptism in a prison that had never had one—before or since. So many manifestations of the Spirit! Such wonderful freedom in the Spirit! Such freedom in a place where freedom shouldn’t exist. Thank you God!

But interestingly, as I shared those amazing testimonies from my time in prison, that very revelation of freedom started to unravel for me, and I felt my heart, my courage, and my strength unravel right along with it. I was taking giant steps backward in the Spirit—and I felt exposed and vulnerable. All I could think about was that now everyone was going to know! I was a respected Pastor and business woman—but what would they think of me now?

I was determined NEVER to share my testimony again.

During those messages about the amazing things the Lord had done through me, I often made the statement that the manifestations of His Spirit made me feel like “I was freer in prison then I had ever been on the outside.” But even though I really felt that way, God showed me that that thinking was contrary to His Word. And I began to ponder the things He was showing me.

As the Holy Spirit began to speak to my heart, I looked back on the times when I had actually had the courage to mention that I’d been in prison, and I saw that no sooner had the words left my mouth, than I’d be overwhelmed by fear of man and pummeled with thoughts of “What will they think of me now?”

But with the gentle guidance of the Holy Spirit, I was beginning to understand about shame, about fear of man, and about forgiving myself.

But then COVID hit, and with it came lock downs and locked churches. Everything we did was either on zoom or livestreamed to FaceBook. I never thought much about what that really meant in terms of scope and I continued to share testimonies of what the Lord did while I was in prison in messages that were now being video taped. And those messages went out on FaceBook. To the world. Wait! What?

Why I didn’t think about the implications of having my messages go out on FaceBook, I don’t know. But what I do know is that I really hadn’t expected anyone outside our church to watch them! Knowing that people across the United States and even in other countries were watching my messages was all it took for the shame and fear of man to overwhelm me once again. None of this was triggered by their comments—No! I bought into the lies of the enemy hook, line, and sinker. All by myself! I wasn’t truly free at all!

But God is so, so good.  Over the last few years, the Holy Spirit has been teaching me how to walk in the freedom Jesus paid for on the cross. With the renewed presence of Covid, we’re continuing to push our video taped messages out to FaceBook. And now, whenever I feel any form of intimidation welling up inside me, instead of stopping or backing up, I intentionally push myself forward. I have learned to take those thoughts captive—to tear down those strongholds in my life that stopped me from being who God created me to be—and Praise God! I can now say that I truly am free!  I found the courage to speak what God asked me to share, and the compassion for both myself and those who God intends the message to touch. There is less and less fear of man and more and more forgiveness of myself.

Now that is freedom—the real freedom spoken of in Galatians 5:1

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

 Today, I can say honestly I am freer now then I have ever been. I didn’t even know it was possible to feel this way! Praise God He is changing me from glory to glory!

Reflections:

The other day as I was walking, the Holy Spirit was talking about the book and this next season in my life and He spoke this to me, “You could have stopped at any point in this journey and I would not have been upset with you.” When He said it, I felt like He understood how difficult each step has been and how proud He was that I didn’t quit. Then I heard Him ask, “But hasn’t it been worth it?” And my answer? “Absolutely!”

Is there something that’s making you stop or back up?  Something that’s keeping you from moving forward into what God has for you?

I encourage you to take a look at where you are. Spend time with Him and ask if there’s something that needs to be moved or a stronghold that needs to come down.  He never promised it would be easy. But He does promise that it will be worth it.  And He’ll be with you all the way.

Praise God.